haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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