I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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