what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
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He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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