Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
