i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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