just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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