Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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