she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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