You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
