honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
