dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
