a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
