Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
