Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
