dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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