Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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