i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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