her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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