So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
