and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I understand Curling. That high.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
