You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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