All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I am one with the molecules
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize