he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
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Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
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Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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