Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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