she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
