thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize