i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
