In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
