I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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