i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
