It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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