drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The Olympian is in my bed
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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