is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
why do cheetos always look like penises
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
