Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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