when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize