PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
where does the pee come out of this thing
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
