Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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