i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
