Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
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He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
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I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
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