sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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