Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
