I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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