We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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