I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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