carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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