If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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