I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
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I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
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I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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