The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
