Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
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Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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