Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
