i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
