I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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