Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize