I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
