they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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