she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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