It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We had to coat check the pizza.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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