Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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