Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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