did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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