Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
